You Don’t Love Your Ex Anymore, Why Do You Keep Seeing Them In Your Dreams?

Kimmy Karima |Jul 25, 2019

Having a dream about an ex (or your exes) is actually quite common. But it makes you really wonder why.

After a breakup, you may try to delete everything related to your ex from your life. So, the last thing you want is seeing him/her in your dreams.

But that happens. You may dream about your ex from time to time. The dreams may vary. In one, you and your ex may reunite and even make love. In another, you and your ex may have a big fight. Yes, your dreams range from super sweet to super annoying like that.

Experts’ point of view

You don’t have to miss someone to dream about them.

Dreaming about your ex doesn’t mean you miss him/her. It just means that your brain is doing its work, normally.

Most relationships are very complicated. They bring you all kinds of emotions, like love, hate, trust, and distrust, among others. So “even in the most enlightened of breakups (which are few and far between), there are lingering feelings”, according to Kelly Sullivan Walden, a dream expert.

Therefore, post-breakup, your brain starts processing all these feelings. It’s not that you’re trying hard to understand or get rid of them. This is just a routine of the brain, just like when it handles any kinds of information.

Don’t worry

A Long Time
Some people dream of their exes even when they have new partners.

If you have dreams about your ex(es), certainly you’re not alone. Many people dream of their exes even a long time after split-ups. Sometimes, this means that they still have some feelings that they haven’t been able to fully understand or explain.

Some other times, this may mean that there are still some questions that they haven’t been able to answer. But nothing so serious either way.

Try to be happy

Get Over
Sometimes, your dreams are because you haven’t moved on/Photo: Shutterstock.

If you repeatedly dream of your ex after a recent breakup, you may not have gotten over him/her. There may still be some strong feelings that linger in your head, whether those feelings are loving or loathing. In short, your heart hasn’t fully healed.

If this is the case, you should remember the reasons for the separation and tell yourself that the breakup may be for the best. Think of the activities that can make you smile, and do them. Move on with your life and try to find your own happiness, independently.

Love yourself more

Love Yourself
Just enjoy your life, then the annoying things will fade away.

In case you dream a lot about the worst moments of your past relationships, like the fights, the abuses, the threats, etc. You must take more care of your mental health. Those dreams are disturbing and may make you feel really down, at least during the next day. If you’re under the burden of recurring nightmares involving your ex, you must talk with someone you trust, and visit a psychologist, if needed.

In any case, you must find ways to improve your self-worth and give yourself more love. Daily self-care is a must. Getting more social and focusing on all the good things you’re having also help. Bottom line is that you must truly love yourself first, then everything that annoys you, like dreams about your ex, will go away.


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