Talking Is Loving: How To Create Effective Communication To Reinforce Love

Kimmy Karima |Aug 16, 2019

Proper communication can help build bridges over gaps in any relationships. It can also reinforce your love and solve the conflicts. You just have to know how to communicate well.

Lovers must communicate well with each other. Good communication can calm anger, comfort tiredness and ease frustration. In love, good communication shows that you care, that you respect, and that prioritize your partner.

Good communication skills can deepen the bond.

So, in order to strengthen the bond with your partner and keep your love life healthy over time, you really must know how to communicate well. Here are some great pieces of advice for you:

Improve your listening skills

Listening is one of the most important skills.

The most important part of a conversation is the way you listen. Listen to understand your partner and what he/she is trying to say. Don’t listen just to give a response. And no matter how much you want to, please, don’t cut in. Being all ears for your partner shows that you respect them and what they have to say.

Stay in the moment

Try to talk only about the matter at hand.

In case the conversation gets hot, i.e. it may possibly turn into a fight, try to focus on the matter at hand. Don’t try to talk about past annoyances or frustration. That will never help but only make things worse. Don’t try to get other people involved by comparing your story with theirs either. Just talk about the current problem and your ongoing feelings.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes

Your partner needs you to get their viewpoint too.

Everyone tends to want to talk more in a conversation. So in the heat of the moment, you may talk too much about yourself, what you feel, why you think you’re right etc. You want your partner to see your point of view. But all they see maybe that you’re selfish and don’t want to see theirs.

So, talk slowly and put yourself in your partner’s shoes too, to try to understand their perspective. They’ll thank you for that.

Be understanding

Feeling understood is feeling loved.

Sometimes, your partner feels hurt and may blame you. And you don’t always think you’re wrong. But if you fight back, you may just add fuel to the fire. What you should do is listening sympathetically and understanding why they’re feeling that way. Your partner would feel much better because you empathize with their emotions.

Apologize if needed

An apology can go a long way.

In case you see that you’re somewhat wrong, say sorry. Admitting your faults doesn’t mean that you’re bad and your partner’s good. It only means that you’re an adult, who is willing to be responsible for what you’ve done. Furthermore, an apology always makes people feel calmer and nicer. So your partner would highly appreciate you and your bond would certainly get stronger.

Talk about your personal feelings

Talking about your feelings will help your partner understand you.

Don’t start every sentence with “You…”. By saying “you’ve done this” or “you’ve made that”, you make your partner feel like you’re criticizing or attacking them. But if you talk about your personal emotions, like “I’m really sad when…”, or “I don’t feel good when…”, it would sound much gentler. Because you’re talking about yourself and you don’t accuse. Your partner, therefore, wouldn’t feel like you place the blame on them.

Have a break when needed

Cool Off
Do something to calm down before you lose control.

It’s not easy for both sides to always keep calm. Occasionally, the conversation gets really frustrating and both sides start throwing bad words to each other. At that moment, you should be lucid enough to suggest a break.

Many problems would become less serious when both sides gain back the self-control. You can use the break to do something that makes you cool off, like meditating, napping, or even eating.

Consider couple therapy, if need

Couple therapy may be necessary if you can’t stop fighting.

If you think that you and your partner can’t help fighting all the time, you may think of couple therapy. A professional may help a lot and you may have some advice that can be used for years to come.


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