Are You Falling In An Unhappy Relationship? Here Are 10 Signs You Shouldn't Avoid!

Kanchana Ngan |May 20, 2019

If you have a sense of something changed in your relationship with lover or spouse, take a closer look at the following list and compare the signs.

"Are you in a happy relationship?" Have you ever been asked this question? Or even wondered it by yourself? What would be your answer? Are you confident that you could say "Yes" clearly and without any hesitation? We provide here the list of 10 common signs of an unhappy relationship, which can be considered the very first step you should take if desiring to maintain your marital happiness.

1. No intimacy or affection can be sensed

It's physical intimacy that can distinguish a loving relationship from other ones. So if there's no more hugging, kissing, not to mention sexual connections between you two, how can the marriage be fulfilled and how can the spouses feel happy with it?

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Source: Linjirsa

2. Anxiety and depression are regular guests

People in unhappy marriages are prone to depression, as well as other states of negative emotions because they have to suffer from lots of stress, day in day out. Moreover, if they did look forward to satisfying marriage life, now after experiencing reality, disappointment is inevitable, which's said to be the leading cause of degradation in mental health.

3. You two are living divergent lives

After the wedding, you may realize that it's not "happily ever after" like what was initially expected. You two have different points of view on life's matters, from dreams, goals, to personalities. As a result, it's tough to conclude each time facing an issue. And should spouses be likely to pursue different things, neither familiar voice nor joint happiness can be found.

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Source: Martha Stewart wedding

4. Annoyances are hiked up

Annoyances can be provoked from the little things which were all tolerable in the past, such as untidy eating habits, messy appearance. Not only sitting and taking it, but you used to try hard to fix your spouse's problems. In return, he/she was willing to improve all of them to satisfy you. However, once the relationship turns unhappily, neither holds enough enthusiasm to do it anymore.

5. There's no listener in the house

Listening is among the most essential techniques to sustain a relationship. It brings about feelings of appreciation to your partner, as well as helps you two find the way to deal with every matter in life. Not only does it require you to listen to the words, but the tone, emotion, facial expression, and body language are all essential to pay attention to.

However, as marriage passes a long time, couples tend to hear what they want to listen, not what the other wish to say. Consequently, the lifeblood of your relationship begins to stop flowing.

Source: WeddingWire

6. You tend to avoid your partner

When people don't want to listen to their spouses, many choose to turn away and hang out with friends as a means to escape, instead of facing the problem.

7. A life without your spouse has been pictured

Once you're familiar with times not having spouse side by side, you may even imagine a later life without him/her. It's identified as a form of psychological detachment, which can erase all your interest in the relationship, and even the desire or responsibility included in it.

Source: Shaadiwish

8. You even don't care to fight

If the marriage gets worse to the extent that you guys don't even care about fighting, it's an alarming sign. Fight here doesn't mean domestic violence, but it presents an attempt of couples to figure ways out of any problems, then repair the relationship strategically. Not fighting anymore is equal to emotional disconnection, or no escape to raised conflicts.

9. Abuse appears in the relationship

It's undeniable that abuse, either verbally, physically or emotionally, is such a nightmare to any sufferers. The victim is, usually, too busy finding ways to survive even to conceptualize what's called martial happiness. In this case, external help from surrounding people, especially professionals, is highly required.

Source: Pinterest

10. All the "four horsemen" can be seen

Many signs can be observed for you to decide the relationship you're in is a happy one or not. Generally, they can be categorized into four familiar "horsemen" as follows:

  • Blame and Criticism.
  • Irresponsibility and Lack of concern.
  • Superiority and Sarcasm.
  • Emotional shutdown and Stonewalling.

Marriage demands nurturing, compassion, tenderness so that it can thrive and bear fruits. Conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable, yet remember the key is to sit down calmly and have a severe talk about everything. A resolution working for both people is an ideal option, instead of gradually losing interest in each other, or even worse, turning the relationship into something you have to suffer from.


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