When Two Become One: The Potential Problems Of Moving In With Your Partner

Kimmy Karima |Sep 25, 2019

Moving in with your partner is a big leap in your relationship. But are you really ready for it? Consider these potential problems to get prepared for your new life together.

Different people may have various reasons for starting to share accommodations with their partners. Of course, the most common one is a marriage, but it’s not necessarily so. A lot of couples consider moving in together even when they haven’t tied the knot or don’t even intend to.

moving in
Moving in together is a big leap in a relationship.

But no matter what your reason is (in case it is your marriage, congratulations!), there are some things you should prepare yourself for before starting the under-the-same-roof life with your loved one. Here they come, drumroll, please…

Sex may not be as wonderful as you expect

moving in
Your sex life may not be what you expected. Photo: iStock.

This may sound strange, but it’s true! When you don’t live with your partner, you long to see each other and crave for time to have sex. And honestly, the waiting and craving are a part of the excitement. Now when you’re in the same place, you see each other many hours each day, and that’s a bit too much for some people.

Sex desires may gradually fade away, and some even find themselves fed up with seeing their partners every waking moment. Then many problems of the couple/marriage life start to arise, which may also dampen the (sexual) mood.

All these may be the reasons why a lot of couples admit that when living together, they don’t have sex often. And they may not even enjoy it as before.

Living in the same house is not a dream

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All the differences may cause stress.

You two are sharing space but not your personalities and habits. So all the differences may become stressors and drive two people away from each other. Even the morning routines (breakfast at home or not?) and bedtime limits (phone-free time or not?) can cause significant conflicts.

You may live a life so far from your solo one. Maybe you can’t be as tidy or messy or lazy as you once were. Same for your partner. That’s not to think of everything else, like the way each uses the bathroom, washes the hands, or even sits on the couch! And housework, who will do what?

So, unless both sides can compromise to a certain extent and learn to adapt, the couple/marriage life in your dream may turn into a nightmare.

Saying bye-bye to at least a part of your freedom

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You may have to give up some independence.

Both you and your partner will have less freedom and independence, like everyone else who steps into the couple/marriage life. Now you should share most of your plans with your partner because every little thing you do may affect the other’s schedules and life in general.

You also can’t spend your time the way you want any more, because you’ll have to consider your partner and other family members who may live with you two. Having less time for yourself is inevitable, and you’ll have to get used to that over time.

Money is an issue

moving in
Money is not a romantic matter, but you can’t skip it.

When two of you become one item, in most cases, the money will be a shared concern. Now the differences in spending and saving habits may cause serious arguments if you two haven’t set some rules previously.

Then all the bills and other household expenses will give you both some bad headaches, so you should discuss this matter with your partner thoroughly before you decide to move in.

Is there anyone else living with you two?

Your partner’s family may affect your life more than you think.

In many Asian countries, the wife will live with the husband’s family after marriage. So if this is your case, be prepared for all the new tasks and responsibilities you may have. It’s not easy to adapt to a whole new family, whose lifestyle and traditions may be completely unlike yours’.

Anyway, let’s hope that with love and respect, the new relationships of yours will go smoothly for life.


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